"When you called me to be a Mama, You didn't ask for perfection. But that with every breath, I'd point them to You."

Friday, April 23, 2010

Dear Baby Brandon

Today is my last day of maternity leave. No matter how much you prepare youself for this time to be over, you're never prepared enough. I thought it would be easier the second time around... I've already gone through it once after Jaden was born. It took me a long time to get used to working again that time... I thought this time would be easier. It's not.

Brandon, in case you ever read this one day, I just want you to know that I have loved every minute of being home with you. Never once have I gotten bored or wished that I could be doing something else - I've just cherished it because I knew that it wouldn't last forever. I also have known that never again will I get to spend so many hours cuddling you, kissing your cheeks and watching you sleep. You're already growing up quickly. Almost two months old -- where has the time gone? Your smiles first thing in the morning are a true blessing. A part of me wishes you could stay as young as you are right now - I'm not ready for you to roll or crawl or walk away from me. I realize that all of these milestones will come way too soon now that you will spend so many hours a day with someone else. I love that you recognize my voice and turn your head as soon as you hear me walk into the room -- looking for your mommy. I love your little wrinkled forehead as your eyes try and peak up at me while I'm feeding you. I love that I was the very first person to see your amazing smile and hear your first cooing noises. If I could bottle this time up and put it on the shelf to keep forever - I would.

These last eight weeks will always hold a very special place in my heart - just as my time home with Jaden does - and I will always look back at your first couple months with tremendous joy and pride.

In three days you get to go off, make new friends, learn more about the world and spend more time with your big brother. Mommy hopes you're happy, and she'll always be anxious to pick you up at the end of the day. It's time for me to stop keeping you all to myself and to let others be blessed by your smiles.