"When you called me to be a Mama, You didn't ask for perfection. But that with every breath, I'd point them to You."

Thursday, January 13, 2011

The Four Seasons

Other than this being Jaden's birth month, I hate the month of January - always have. My favorite few months of the year have passed... football season is over, the awesome temperatures and smells of fall are long gone, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Christmas break... all of the holiday excitement and decorating and anticipation of the "first" snow fall... it's all done. And spring seems so. far. away. So... I've been a little cranky this week. It doesn't help that my husband has gotten to enjoy two days of drinking beers and eating food with his work buddies during "work hours." (His boss does this in the winter -- he'll have days where he just wants to hang out with the guys. He buys all of their food and drinks and their "work" for the day is spent at the Screaming Eagle in downtown Waterloo). So on top of my winter blues, I've been a tad bit jealous of my other half. Jaden's got a cold, Brandon had the starts of a snotty nose this morning, and I feel like I have nothing to look forward to but work, doctor's appointments and... more snow. This morning I even got mad at how hot my house was. I like to turn the thermostat down a degree or two at night so I'm not sweating under the covers when I wake up in the morning... well, I forgot to do that last night. As I was making my bed this morning and sweating after blow drying my hair, I almost threw a fit. Right there by myself in the middle of my bedroom while the rest of my family was still sleeping. I wanted to run to the bedroom window, open it up and yell at the top of my lungs that I was sick of having to run my thermostat!! I wanted fresh air, windows open and a steak on the grill to look forward to when I got home from work. I pouted so much that instead of doing my makeup in our bathroom, I took all of my makeup downstairs and sat in front of our basement mirror where it was cooler.

This girl needs spring. I want to be able to go on walks with my boys at night... something we all love to do. I want to take the boys to the park rather than spending another endless night in the basement playing with the same toys over and over again. I want to clean my deck furniture and actually USE it to eat on this year now that Jaden is a little older. I want to stand in our yard, watch the boys play and talk with Cody as he flips a steak on the grill and I sip on a corona. For the last three years, my summers have been spent pregnant, or nursing -- for the most part. (The one summer I wasn't pregnant or nursing, we lived in an apartment building and didn't have a back deck to sit on or a yard to play in).  I just want to drink a corona on my back deck! I'm throwing myself a giant pity party. My blog (and you readers) get to feel the brunt of it. My apologies.

But... I wouldn't ever give up my winters. Right before Christmas break one of my coworkers who lives down in Dallas sent out an email to the entire company. The email was a picture she took of the temperature reading in her car. 90 degrees. 90 degrees in the middle of December. I guess she wanted to rub it in. So... I decided to play along, grabbed my camera and ran outside my office building without even taking the time to put on my coat. I took a picture of the big empty field by our office -- all covered in snow along with the trees all covered in white. You couldn't see cars or buildings or anything else in the picture - all you could see was the look of a Winter Wonderland. I then sent that picture out to the entire company. Shortly after, one of my coworkers stationed in our Redondo Beach, California office sent me an email - "Nicole. Wow. I would LOVE to have a White Christmas. Christmas just isn't the same out here." And I was immediately grateful.

So. That is what I'm reminding myself of today. I am the girl that always says she never wants to live in a place with one season. I like to enjoy all the variety life has to offer. God made me a four-seasons kinda girl. So even though I'm sick of winter... beyond sick of winter. I am so grateful that I do have something to look forward to. The ushering in of another beautiful spring. Another change of season. I do love experiencing it all. And even though I wish fall and spring lasted a little longer and summer and winter were a little shorter... I'm still grateful.

Someone gave me a piece of advice last night - go spend a few minutes in a tanning bed. No, it's not natural sun. But they swear it will do wonders for my mood. I might have to try it out.