"When you called me to be a Mama, You didn't ask for perfection. But that with every breath, I'd point them to You."

Friday, January 17, 2014

winter:: images of home

It has been quite the doozy of a kickoff to 2014. Not quite what I would have had in mind but we are making it through... trudging through the snow drifts, the sludge and the icy roads of life in the middle of winter. Except for the fact that my first born came into the world at the very end of the month, I've always thought January to be the worst month on the calendar. It's long. It's cold. There's not a whole lot to look forward to, and Spring seems so far away. It doesn't help that it falls on the heals of Fall and Christmas season... four months of lots of good things and reasons to celebrate.

This January has been particularly rough so far. Just a few days after the New Year, I came down with probably the worst illness I've ever had. What started out with a horrible cough and four nights in a row of no sleep, turned into the worst sinus infection. Ever. I was on hourly breathing treatments, steroids for my lungs and then received a new and stronger antibiotic one Saturday morning after a desperate visit to urgent care. I went a full 72 hours without being able to taste anything, a week without being able to hear out of one or both ears, and I'm still on meds and not able to sleep through the night quite yet. It was a good week and a half before I didn't feel like I was part of the Walking Dead, and my poor family took the brunt of a sick and out of commission mommy. They all handled it so well. With me going to bed by 7:30 every night for a week, Cody became super dad. He helped Jaden with his homework at 8:30 one night after I had forgotten all about it. He cooked fabulous meals every night (even though I couldn't taste them), and he even assisted me with a very disgusting sinus rinse - at his insistence - at a point when I could barely even stand up. Now that is love. ;)

But through all the muck, the boys have been like angels. In some ways, they have drawn closer to each other. They have been patient with me when I couldn't tuck them in at night, understanding when my mood would go south quickly, and companions for each other in the basement play room every night. With this increased time together and post-holiday cabin fever setting in, there have of course been more fights, but Cody and I have learned to let them work their arguments out on their own, and it's so fun and sometimes comical to watch the process play out. One minute they are screaming at each other, and five minutes later they are back to being best friends. Hindsight is 20/20 and though I never wish to be this sick again, I can see how God has worked it out for the good. As He always does. My January blues I was experiencing at the beginning of the month have now been replaced with thankfulness for health. My sadness over the end of a very special and fun holiday season has been replaced with an awareness of the pleasures of a simple and calm life. We have drawn closer as a family - thankful for what each of us brings to the table - as we have been forced to slow down and just be together. To appreciate the coziness of our home while we anticipate warmer nights ahead. The Fall and Christmas season is such a busy, busy time for us. I think this little epilogue was needed to gain some perspective.

Thankful for my little family... thankful to be at the tail end of this little health storm... thankful for a cozy home and the thoughts of a Spring that awaits. As my colleague pointed out to me this morning, the days are starting to get longer again...