"When you called me to be a Mama, You didn't ask for perfection. But that with every breath, I'd point them to You."

Wednesday, June 25, 2014

this summer with you...

To my boys...

This summer is already going by so quickly. Here we are, at the end of June, so many adventures behind us and so many yet to be lived out. Yet I'm finding that every day with the two of you is an adventure in itself. Whether we spend an evening at home, nibbling on corn on the cob that Brandon finally agreed to try, having a game night on the living room floor when it's just too hot to be outside, catching tree frogs by our creek (and in our house), watching Jaden and Daddy play some one-on-one hoops together or watching Brandon very carefully water our flowers and plants, summer seems to be the season that just heightens our awareness of the simple things in life, and the older I get, the more I appreciate these months out of our year. Watching the two of you find so much joy in this season of your lives makes all those late nights that we stay up past bedtime... and all those early mornings where you wake with the sun with more energy than I ever seem to have... it's all worth it. Because let's be honest, nobody remembers the nights they went to bed early anyway.

I love our nightly bedtime routine after a long day in the sun. Baths with extra bubbles, taking extra care to wash between those twos and under those dirt-filled fingernails, followed by your favorite yogurt smoothies and a chapter or two from a Magic Treehouse book. Tucking you in as you yawn and sigh and say your prayers, sometimes too tired to say much of anything else. Brandon, the other night you had your eyes closed before I could even kiss your cheeks goodnight, and I know all the sleepiness is from days well spent. I love the smell of you both as I tuck you in - the mixing scents of fresh soap and a hint of sunblock. You smell exactly like summer should smell.

I love how everything is so fascinating to both of you. I love watching the wheels turn in your head, seeing the look in your eyes as you discover new sights and experience new things. Like last week when the tornado sirens were going off and we had to huddle in the basement while the lightning put on an intense show outside the basement windows. Jaden, you curled up on the basement floor, fascinated by the weatherman and his radar, and Brandon, you curled up next to me with your own Lightning McQueen flashlight in hand, asking me a dozen times if there was a tornado over our house. I could sense you were a little frightened but you were also so eager to learn, still so innocent with your blankie strewn across your lap, and I love that I get to be the mommy that you cuddle a little closer to when things are a little uncertain in your world. And this weekend, when we stopped at Toads on Main St. for a bite to eat and then went down to the river to observe the flooding. It didn't matter that the night was filled with intense humidity, and your daddy and I were sweating and tired and wanting to go home... you both kept asking to see more, stay longer, explore further. It's hard to say no to you.

You were astonished by the tree trunks in the river and the big logs floating up stream and most often it was the two of you that noticed unusual sights before me or your Daddy. The two of you don't miss a thing.

My two boys, I may be biased as your mama, but you're going to be heartbreakers someday. Always cute, you're even more handsome with your bronzing skin, blonde hair and growing confidence.

Jaden, just the other night at the pool I watched you from afar as you played catch with a little boy who couldn't have been more than two years old. This little boy had taken a liking to you just by watching you and without any prompting from me, I watched you go over to him and give him your football. He couldn't really play catch the way you like to, but you were so patient with him, so gentle and helpful, and I watched as this little boy's daddy watched his little boy with you. And when we had to leave, he thanked you for playing with him. I was so proud of you, and you have never looked more grown up to me.

Brandon, there is a tug-of-war going on inside me as I watch you become increasingly independent. It's so fun seeing you play with your friends... whether it's at the park on your daycare field trip or in the pool... your friendships are growing right along with your shoe size, and though I enjoy my time sitting on the pool edge chatting with other moms and dads while you splash around with your buddies, there's a piece of me that knows I will miss the days when I was all you needed or wanted.

I love you guys, and I cherish our time together. So proud to be your mama and always want you to know it.