"When you called me to be a Mama, You didn't ask for perfection. But that with every breath, I'd point them to You."

Friday, August 8, 2014

as summer ends







 
As summer is coming to an end once again, I can't help but feel somewhat sentimental for what it has been. More than ever before I feel like this summer completely got away from us. I'm not sure if it's because winter was so incredibly long, spring was so very short or because it only reached 90 degrees one day this summer. Or if it's more because our boys are busier, our family is busier and I am literally living out these fleeting moments of them being little, watching them grow and thrive in their new experiences and adventures and challenges on a daily basis. Jaden is going to be a 1st grader in less than two weeks. As he often reminds me, "I'm a grade-schooler now, Mom." Brandon is just one year away from being a fulltime kindergartner. It's the little things that remind me how fast raising them is going. Like finally transitioning Brandon into a booster seat in our new van and out of his three-point harness car seat. Or Jaden being old enough to go off with his friends at the pool without needing any assistance from me. Sending your kid to a college sports camp for a week? I feel like I was just changing his diapers last week.
 
And these summer nights with them. They mean so much to me. When we're sitting around our deck playing board games together after supper. Or curling up with them for bedtime books with their freshly washed hair and the smell of sunblock still lingering on their skin. The mundane routines that make motherhood seem so monotonous at times, but all the more precious when it's what you were dreaming of your whole life. Washing the dirt off their filthy feet and smudged cheeks at the end of the day. Spreading sunblock on their shoulders at the pool. Helping Brandon unbuckle his bike helmet from under his chin. Filling up water bottles for road trips in the car and prayers in bed amidst their big yawns and sleepy eyes. Sinking into the couch after they are tucked in bed. Exhausted and grateful for some peace and quiet while enjoying the open windows and the sounds of crickets as our late evening soundtrack.
 
As we continue to get busier, I don't want to lose sight of any of this. And I don't want them to lose sight of it either. Because it happens every summer that at its end, it feels like I say goodbye to a little piece of their childhood. Knowing that next year they'll be bigger, older, and no doubt even busier. It's as though we're closing another chapter, welcoming in a new stage of growth and change. And though I look forward to what's ahead, I'm also clinging so tightly to where we're at now. Though life is often chaotic, it's also so simple right now when I really boil it down. My kids are happy, they still need us, and my most important job is raising them. The mundane routines aren't so mundane when you realize these are probably the most important tasks you will ever do in your life.