Every Day a Memory: Life With You

Kaitlyn, sweet baby girl, it's hard to believe, but our eight weeks at home together is up. Today I head "back to work" -- and you head to Papa Bob and Nana Nancy's house for a couple of days before starting at daycare next week. I have so many emotions as I type this and so many different feelings. I'm anxious because I know how desperate I'll be to get to you at 4:30 this afternoon. Traffic and lights better move quickly. :) I'm encouraged because I feel like we all need to get back to a "normal" life and routine again. Or at least a new normal. I'm sad because I know that I will miss out on things by not being with you during the day - the same sadness that all working mom's have to go through and get used to. But I also know how much I will value the hours we do get to spend together. I'm encouraged because I'm lucky to work from home full time, and that provides a flexibility not many have. Our mornings are less rushed and chaotic because I don't have to head into an office. Our nights are spent more on each other than on laundry and house pick-up because I often have time to do those little household chores throughout the day while taking lunch or when I have a few spare minutes between conference calls. I'm grateful because we were lucky to find such a loving daycare home for you to spend your time in. Kathy will pray with you and read Bible stories to you and kiss your cheeks almost as much as I do. She will love you like a grandchild, and she was an answer to a stressed out mama's prayers. I'm thankful all in all because I get to be your mom. And I love you so much. You are my dream.

I often look at this picture of the five of us and just stare at it. For so long I dreamed of you, and now it seems like in the blink of an eye, here you are. God answered so many big prayers for us in the past year or two, and you by far outshine them all. The last eight weeks have been such a bonding time for us. You gave me your first smile at around four weeks and have been smiling at me ever since. For a few weeks, I was the only one you shared that sweet grin with, and every time you and I lock eyes, I feel the sweetest connection with you.

And watching how much your brothers love you has been such a sweet thing to witness. Jaden can't get over how cute you are and tells you that all the time. Brandon is constantly telling you that you're such a pretty girl. :) When you coo at us and give us that big toothless grin, both of their eyes just light up. And you are responding to them more and more. You hear their voices when they get home from school and immediately search for them. You stare at them closely, and I see your love for them blossoming. Sometimes I still pinch myself that I'm a mom of THREE. I feel so lucky.

You and Daddy have your own special times, too. You don't really have a "witching hour" anymore but you can be hard to put to sleep at night. But you and Daddy head to the comfy gray chairs in the four seasons room around 7:30 every night and snuggle until you're sound asleep. At that time of day, it's his big comfy shoulders that you want most of all. His favorite word to use with you is 'precious.' Daddy always calls you precious.

I love the season we're in now and believe me, I'm not wishing time away at all. But every time you look me in the eye with those beautiful gorgeous blues of yours, I can't help but think of all the things I'm excited to do with you. Going for pedicures, Saturday morning shopping trips up Main Street, hot cocoa and coffee dates at Starbucks. The list goes on and on and on. Growing up, I used to love to play house and had dozens of baby dolls over the years. You are my favorite baby doll. :)

Daddy says this picture is one of his favorites. He knows how much I longed for you, punkin.

I have more to write about you, peanut. Now that I'm back to work and back to my computer screen, I have a goal of finally getting this blog up to date, too.

I love you bunches and bunches, sugar bear. You're my heart.